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A 4th of July Appreciation

7/2/2010

4 Comments

 

I have, in my distant past, relatives who were actively engaged in the terrorist activities of the 1770's in New England. As was common then, fighting the King and "suppression" was not a unanimous family decision.  In my direct line was one of the Sons of Liberty who escaped potential prosecution (and undoubted execution) by the English still governing Massachusetts and Rhode Island. He traveled nearly as far south into the Thirteen Colonies as possible, South Carolina, joining others who thought to continue their fight from there, and set our family tree onto a new course.
The long-distant past of our families is as important as the nearer past. It puts our values in a framework of pride or shame, or a combination of the two. Our sense of self is derived from the stories we know about our families as much as from our personal actions. When we make poor choices, we can look backwards to the more heroic of our tribes, and feeling pride in them, we can be motivated to take a different path, one that will make us proud of ourselves.

The heroic include men and women who fought in wars for our government's purposes; women who were subjected to incarceration and torture for publicly demanding the right to vote; African Americans who intended peaceful marches asking for equal rights under the law; Native Americans who, even in the past few decades, have been killed for protesting illegal acts of the government against them; mothers of all colors who raise honorable, productive children under hardship; fathers who sacrifice their own dreams for those of their offspring; men, women, and children who endure physical and mental disabilities. Heroes, all.

Difficulties in individual lives abound, but we can take pride in how we meet them, and be grateful for the heroes who set examples for us to follow.
I am grateful for the courage and honor shown by recent and long-deceased relatives and by the living ones who continue to show that we all, every one of us, can be remarkably strong in meeting adversity. I appreciate all the professionals who help us learn how to live meaningful lives. 

July 4th means something different to everyone. This year, consider its value not just in the violent wrenching of our independence from another country, but in the examples of courage we have to meet our individual adversities.
Happy 4th of July! And thank you for your heroism.
4 Comments
Kathy Babb link
7/2/2010 09:24:40 am

Connecting our past with our current situation is thoughtful and important. Thank you for reminding me that we can be the impetus to change our family tree, no matter our situation or ancestry. And I will now be able to look at my relatives who fought in recent wars for our nation's independence a little differently. Perhaps they were all about changing the family tree for many.

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Sean O'Neil
7/4/2010 02:54:40 am

When I was a boy, our family celebrated July 4th with a ceremonial reading of the declaration of independence. Almost as deities, sweeping and majestic terms like freedom, rights and equality filled our heads. Later, I realized that with all of its important societal interpretation, “freedom” is a relative term with individual and at times disparate meanings. These words formed the basis and motivation for many revolutions, but each participant had his own personal interpretation of the unifying words for which they sacrificed for the good of all. ALL men may be created equal, but slavery or equality for women, America’s original sins of inequality, were left unaddressed in the Declaration of Independence. It has been 234 years and struggles for freedom still persist. As valiant as our forefathers fought for a better life, Ms. Miller reminds us to reflect on the context of struggles and sacrifices. Our life’s struggles continue both societal and personal. Looking back or forward, we can see that our parents did, that we do, and that our children will continue to evolve, and that we are a part of that right now.

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Stephanie B McAlpin link
7/6/2010 05:59:22 am

Marilyn, Thank you for your thoughtful words - so reflective of the past and meaningful as we embark of the journey 'today' possesses for each one of us.

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Chingachgook
7/6/2010 12:19:05 pm


Knowledge of ancestry and family history truly can be a beacon of light in the fog of uncertainty if utilized correctly. Knowing only the actions of one’s forefathers can help formulate a clear picture in the mind’s eye of what they might be proud of; which actions they would find honorable and which life paths they would respect. Would a frontiersman that helped settle this country and fought to leave his descendants a better place in life be proud of his great great-grandson’s white collared job? It is very likely that he would. Would he be proud of another descendant who followed in his footsteps entirely? It is undoubtedly so. Some feel a great pull towards this idea, while others may strive to live up to preconceived expectations, lest these great ancestors be disappointed, and their sacrifices made in vain. Maybe this has to do with a lack of influence or guidance during the developmental stages, so that an alternate source for inspiration must be sought out. Or maybe it is in the genes, as they say. Either way, who a person’s forefathers were, where they came from, and what they did in life is no small matter and should be a source of reflection when one finds himself losing his way. What would they advise? The answer may be more readily available than that lost soul previously assumed.

Thank you for the reminder that knowledge may yet again be a simple yet powerful remedy to many of life’s great questions.

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    Marilyn Miller, MS, LPC ~ Psychotherapist

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